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lathande
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Name: tennis
Location: France
Birthday: 1/24/1990
Gender: Male
Interests: tennis
Expertise: tennis
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/26/2005
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| i totally win all... you wanna know why i just found out there was a
title thing to the posts. i dont know what it does. but i'm pretty sure
it's reakin amazin... i have also decided that amazin rhymes with
raisin... lol i dont know i'm just a little hyper... and blake is the
roboot done yet. i hope so man.
P.S. the greatest thing ever... we get to watch castaway in english so
if any1 has any spare wilson soccer balls... you could you know show
you love me and give them to me for a week...
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| I'm a guy..... who can wrestle with you and let you
win.... who i can talk to about anything... who laughs at your
jokes.... who puts your cold hands in my warm hoodie pockets.... who
lets you use my sweatshirt for a pillow.... who says i love you &
means it.... who will kiss you in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the
snow.... whos calls unexpectedly.... who will have many inside jokes
with you and remember each one.... a guy who notices haircuts.... who
realizes that you say things but dont always mean them.... who you can
go swimming with on hot days.... who can tell you my problems and let
you help.... who will listen to you talk... who will bring you
seashells from the beach.... who will let you beat me up when you get
angry.... who writes love letters to you, but doesnt send them.... who
draws pictures and slips them gently into your locker slot.... who
saves my genuine, big smiles for you.... with deeps eyes, that can see
through faces into depths.... who wears baseball hats and lets your
wear mine too. ... who gives you my t-shirt to change into and not
expect to get it back.... who knows your favorite color, song, car,
vegetable, perfume and the color of your toothbrush.... who will shake
your dads hand and look your mom in the eye.... who will call you by
your full name--first, middle and last.... who willl know when
something is wrong when you're trying your best to put on an act... who
will kiss you and tell you you're beautiful.... who will let you cry to
me.... who will hold you & kiss your cheek.... who suprises you and
compliments and plays with your hair.... who will brag about you to all
of my friends...who will not tell his friends about intimate stuff we
did... not afraid to give you a great big hug right infront of my
mom... who smells like i just stepped out of the shower.... who will
cut his hair when i know it looks bad... who wears cologne that you can
subtly smell when you're leaning on my shoulder.... who will not try to
meet up with other girls if i know you'll get jealous...who tells you
that you have a nice laugh and a smile that lights up the room and
simply be yours to hold.
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| MOUSE BALLS:
I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.....This
apparently was a real memo sent out by a computer company to its
employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a
computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine.
The word is that the engineers literally rolled on the floor!
(Especially note the last couple of sentences.)
Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may
need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field
Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure,
replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained
personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by
examining the underside of the mouse.
Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball
removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the
mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.
Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls
are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can
result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the
mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have
a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.
Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in
charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in
mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy
customer. | | |
| In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. | | |
| THE LUCKY JOKE: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE
This is a joke that should bring you luck.
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right), an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money.
The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square." The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square." "Done", the elderly woman answered.
"But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness." "No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!" | | |
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